Most goal setting advice begins after the goal has been chosen. Make it specific, make it measurable, break it into steps, track your progress. All useful, and all aimed at a goal that has already been accepted without much questioning.
The cheaper moment to think is earlier. A few honest questions before you commit can catch a goal that is not really yours, one that will collide with everything else in your week, or one so vague it can never feel finished. Five minutes of questions then saves months of quiet stalling later.
The questions below are grouped into five short sets. You do not need to answer all of them for every goal. For a goal you have carried for years and are finally about to start, though, it is worth going through the whole list once, in writing.
This page covers why to ask questions before committing, seventeen questions in five groups, and how to use the answers to commit, reshape or drop the goal.
Ask the questions before you commit, not after you stall
The cheapest time to fix a goal is before the first step. After that, the fixing happens in the form of quiet abandonment.
Goals usually fail for a small number of reasons, and most of them are visible in advance: the goal belonged to someone else, it competed with something more important and lost, it was too vague to finish, or nothing kept it in view once the first enthusiasm faded. Each of those has a question that would have caught it.
Asking those questions first does not make the goal less ambitious. It makes it honest. Sometimes the answers confirm the goal and sharpen it. Sometimes they reshape it into something smaller and more startable. Occasionally they show that the goal should be let go, which is a useful result too: one less thing quietly weighing on every free evening.
Is this goal actually yours?
Goals chosen for someone else, or inherited from an older version of you, are the ones most likely to stall without explanation.
- Would I still want this if nobody ever knew I had done it?
- Whose idea was this originally: mine, or someone I wanted to impress?
- Is this something I want now, or something I wanted five years ago and never re-examined?
- When I picture having finished it, do I feel relief or interest?
Relief often means obligation; interest usually means the goal is genuinely yours. Neither answer is wrong, but a goal driven only by obligation needs much more structure to survive, and it is worth knowing that before you start.
Why this goal, and why now?
A goal with a reason that matters to you survives a bad week. A goal with only a deadline usually does not.
- Why does this matter to me, in one sentence?
- Why now, rather than last year or next year?
- What happens if I do not start it this year?
Question seven is the one to answer most honestly. If the answer is "nothing much", the goal may belong on a list for later. If the answer is "another year of carrying it", that is often the strongest reason there is. The way you want to act while pursuing the goal belongs here too, and intentions vs goals covers how to use that to shape it.
What does done look like?
If a stranger could not tell when the goal was finished, it is still a wish. Defining the finish line is what makes the goal plannable.
- What will exist, or will have happened, when this is done?
- By when, realistically, alongside everything else I am doing?
- What is the smallest version of this that would still count?
"Get fit" fails question eight. "Run a 10k without stopping by the end of March" passes it. Question ten is the safety valve: a goal with a smaller version already defined can shrink during a hard month instead of disappearing. SMART goals for self-improvement walks through rewriting a vague goal until it passes this test.
Worth knowing: if you have several goals and are unsure which to start, the questions in this group are a quick filter. The goal you can define most clearly is often the one most ready to begin.
What will it cost, and what gives way?
Every goal takes time and attention from something else. Deciding in advance what gives way is what stops the goal losing every contest with an ordinary week.
- How many hours a week does this need, honestly?
- Where exactly will those hours come from?
- What will I do less of, or stop doing, to make room?
- What is most likely to make this stall, based on past attempts?
Questions twelve and thirteen are the ones most goals skip, and skipping them is why so many goals end up in the evenings that never happen. Finding time when you have a full-time job covers where the hours usually come from. Question fourteen is a small pre-mortem; a pre-mortem for personal goals takes it further, drafting the likely failures before day one.
Who or what will keep it in view?
A goal nobody asks about relies on memory, and memory is the first thing a busy month takes.
- Who will ask me how this is going, and how often?
- When will I review it each week, on which day?
- What is the first step, and when exactly will I take it?
These three turn a well-chosen goal into a running one. A friend who agrees to ask every Sunday, a coach, a group or a weekly review attached to an existing habit can all answer question fifteen. Question seventeen is the most important on the whole list: a day and a time in the next seven days, for something small enough that a hard week cannot excuse it.
Use the answers to commit, reshape or drop
Read the answers back and make one of three decisions. All three are good outcomes.
- Commit. The goal is yours, the reason is clear, done is defined, the cost is accepted and something will keep it in view. Book the first step.
- Reshape. One or two groups exposed a problem: the finish line is vague, or the hours do not exist. Change the goal until the answers work, usually by making it smaller or shorter.
- Drop, deliberately. The answers show the goal is someone else's, or it does not matter enough right now. Write it on a list with a date to revisit, and let it go until then.
Once the goal is committed, a structured conversation helps turn it into a plan. The GROW model questions take it from the goal through your current reality and options to the first action. Disclosure: we build a coaching app, so weigh this accordingly. In Odyssey your coach works through those stages with you, helps break the goal into milestones and checks in on a rhythm you set, which is one answer to question fifteen.
Goal setting questions, in five lines
- Ask the questions before committing, when fixing a goal costs nothing
- Check the goal is yours and know why it matters now
- Define done clearly enough that a stranger could see it
- Decide in advance what gives way to make room for it
- Plan who or what asks about it, and book the first step
Common questions
What questions should I ask when setting goals?
Ask whether the goal is genuinely yours, why it matters now, what done looks like and by when, what it will cost and what will give way to make room, what is most likely to make it stall, and who or what will keep it in view. Finish with the first step and a specific time to take it.
What are good goal setting questions for personal goals?
Good questions for personal goals include "would I still want this if nobody knew?", "what happens if I do not start it this year?", "what is the smallest version that would still count?" and "what will I stop doing to make room?" These test whether the goal is yours and whether it can fit into your actual week.
How do you know if a goal is the right goal?
A goal is usually right when it is genuinely yours rather than inherited, it matters enough that not starting it would bother you, you can define clearly what done looks like, and you can name where the time will come from. If the goal fails several of those tests, reshape it or set it aside for later.
What is the difference between these questions and the GROW model?
These questions help you decide whether to commit to a goal and in what form. The GROW model is a coaching structure for working on a goal you have already chosen, moving from the goal through your current reality and options to a specific next action. Use these questions first and GROW afterward.
How many goals should I set at once?
One or two at a time is easiest to sustain alongside a full-time job. Run each candidate goal through these questions, commit to the one that answers them best, and keep the others on a written list with a date to revisit them.
The takeaway
The best time to question a goal is before you commit to it. Check that it is yours, know why it matters now, define done, decide what gives way and plan what will keep it in view. Then commit, reshape or drop it deliberately, and book the first step for the goal that survives.
One thing to do today. Take the goal you have carried longest and answer just three of these questions in writing: whose idea was it originally, what happens if you do not start it this year, and what will you stop doing to make room for it.
